The Build-up
So it's no secret that Damon has been the only man I have ever been with. Hell, everything I know about sex is because what he taught me. My parents apparently didn't think it necessary to tell me anything and neither did my 4 brothers. It was like I was being guarded by the mafia itself.
Man what a 'lucky packet' I got to open.
To be honest though, I wouldn't have changed a thing because Damon got to mould me, just for him. The perfect servant to his needs, equipping me with all I needed, to blow his mind the way he likes and needs it. In return he left no part of my body undiscovered, making sure I would never look elsewhere.
We are happy and have the most amazing sex life, marriage and family. A little bit crazy, twisted and weird at times, but we function well with what we have built together.
I am the most un materialistic, honest and trustworthy person you are most likely to ever meet, trust is huge for me. Once it's gone I turn your memory to ashes. I am loyal to a fault ... keep this in mind.
Now that life's set on a certain course, we decided it's time for us to kick back and start enjoying life a bit. We joined a group and started vetting people. It's time for Lucy to tick a big one off her list. Be with another man.
This was the most nerve wrecking idea ever. It was also the most important. Without step one, there's no way Damon and I could embark on our journey and join this lifestyle.
We needed to find an experienced Dom, mentor and a first time play partner that matched both our personalities, someone who wouldn't hurt me or piss Damon off. Damon is intimidating AF in person and me, well I run at the first feel of discomfort.
Then we met mr X. He was really nice. We had cyber chats, then some video calls and then we started visiting. Damon and I are not the wham bam kinda people, when we make friends, we make friends for life. Our circle is small, but you will know when you are in it.
A month went by and mr X knew everything about me, Damon made sure we were all on the same page. He knew the importance of what this experience would mean to me. He knew my fears, strengths and weaknesses. I started to trust him.
I am not a prize, princess or anything special, but this was huge for me. I was going to give him something special, a part of myself that no one other than Damon has ever had. This was my greatest treasure. My purity.
Not even my kids had the pleasure of exiting where he was going in, as 'she' is mine. She is my 'happiness' and it's always been my job to keep her protected and intact.
Long story short: once again a light evening of laughter, dinner, drinks and chatting when all of a sudden I found myself boxed in between 2 bodies.
First Damon kissed me, long hard and passionately and that's when I knew this was to be the night. I was twirled around and for the first time in many years my mouth kissed another.
It was awkward, it wasn't Damon, but I was slowly getting lost in sensation as I had 2 sets of hands wandering and caressing my trembling body. Tortuously undressing me with coordinated precision.
I swear they shared telepathy, as they were so in sync with each other it wasn't even funny. One thing led to another and before I knew it we were on the couch and they played with me for what felt like hours.
I was in a complete different dimension, orgasms ripped through me leaving me weak and vulnerable. I don't remember being issued instructions, what I do remember are the praises of being a good girl, an obedient girl and a dirty little slut at times. I did exactly as they ordered without giving it a second thought.
That evening not only did I kiss someone else, but I got to see, touch feel and got to please them both with my mouth and hands, without any forced pressure. They were gentle, kind and they made sure it was a night I would never forget.
Burn
Time went by and the 3 of us were constantly chatting. Even though mr X was an introvert he climbed out his comfort zone a bit.
Our chats were always packed with laughter and fun. One thing that was a constant was the fact that he kept on insisting on buying me things and wanting to take us on trips.
To me, that wasn't something I wanted. I always down played it with humour or diversion, however I did notice his agitation at times. His money didn't impress me. I value intelligent, time and mutual respect above anything else.
A few weeks later another beautiful evening rolled by. The vibe was right, the music amazing, we had pizza and dim lighting. Everything was perfect and they started us off same as last time. There was no awkward vibes, everything was running smoothly.
First penetration with mr X was very difficult for me, I remember holding my breath and then reminding myself to breathe. I kept my focus on Damon, he was with me, I was safe ... scared but safe.
From there it was magic all the way. I didn't even know one can do ‘it’ in so many different positions. I know I am flexible... But damn they took it to a whole new level.
We arrived there around 6pm that evening and must have done a good 5 rounds of about an hour plus each, with breaks in between.
Our last was at 5am that morning and to that was absolutely mind blowing. Damon claimed me like he has never before, proving that I am by no means a porcelain doll and that I was undoubtably his. Poor mr X actually took a step back, I am sure it was a rather intimidating sight.
After a bit of sleep, we said farewell and happily went our separate ways. Needless to say, I slept for the entire day that day. My body took a deliciously unexpected knock.
Mr X messaged me and said that this was the most incredible experience of his life and I think we felt the same. I for one will never forget that night.
Then mr X went silent. Hours turned into days, days into weeks and weeks into months. Nothing, nada not a flippen word. He disappeared off the face of the planet.
Let me tell you one thing, it broke me as a woman, in more ways than I can ever explain using words.
I started to question everything and I broke myself down piece by piece, trying to figure out what I did wrong. I could tell by their reactions that they enjoyed the evening every bit as much as I did, so what did I do wrong?
Was I too fat for his liking, too white? Do I suck as a sexual partner? Did I make too much noise or not enough? Was it because I wouldn’t accept his gifts?
Internally, I cried for weeks of heartbreak. Not having an answer to my questions, not having closure and losing a friend all at once. How did I manage to fail so badly?
It broke my heart knowing Damon could see the sadness in my eyes each day. I know he blamed himself, also trying to figure out how he missed this potential disaster. I mean, Mr X really seemed to be a nice guy.
I pulled the plug and screamed my safe word at Damon. I was done, I could never do this again. What if I disappointed other partners in future too?
Ready
It has been incredibly hard to pick myself up after the number Mr X pulled on me. To date, I still question myself, especially after he made me feel so used, cheap and that I was not enough.
I am an optimist by nature and generally I always try and find the good in people. I trust way too easily and make excuses for them even when they do not deserve it. I have learned some valuable lessons though, through this experience.
I will not always be everyone’s cup of tea, however I am a Queen. I am Damon’s Queen and to him I am enough, to him I am perfect. That is all that matters.
After a bit of a sabbatical I started going out again and we reviewed our list and goals. Once again I am in the right headspace and ready to start our journey again. This time around though, neither Damon nor I will be this easily fooled.
Yes, it is all about pleasures of the flesh. However, keep in mind that all people have feelings. The way you start and end things can make a huge difference in someone else’s journey.
Don’t see anyone as just an easy or a quick shag. Don’t just get your ‘kick’ and disappear. Be real a man / woman and do things the right way. Do your research, take your time, and if your intent is not one pure of heart – don’t follow through for the other party’s sake
Shit, that was super heavy and depressing ….
On a positive note we are now on the lookout for a new play mates ....
Add new comment